Anna Nicole Smith
November 28, 1967 - February 8, 2007
"Do you like my body?"
Apparently loads of people do.
Today (2 March, 07) marks the day where the debacle of Anna Nicole's body
will hopefully end. As I type this, her body has been taken to the church in the
Bahamas, where a funeral Mass will be said. She will finally be planted
later today, next to the body of her recently directory son, Daniel
(Warning! dead pic courtesy
of kfog x), and the world
will go on. *****PLEASE NOTE THIS BEFORE WRITING ME: I don't know why the beard is different on the kid, I have no
idea. I'm just puttin' it out there.
I think we'll all remember where we were when we heard the news that Anna
Nicole had died. She was The People's Train Wreck. Myself, I was having a pint in a pub that stands above a plague pit in central London when
my sister sent me a text with the news. I was shocked, but not, if you know what I
mean. There was no way this woman could be dead, and yet...
Later that evening, I got back to the computer and saw more emails about her than any other
death, including the little Brandis creature. It's finally happened, the
whole world has gone Death Hag. Between her and James Brown, there has
never been more coverage of a celebrity death - aside from the holy grails = Diana
and JFK. Remember, we've been doing this a long time - say what you will,
but the media are jumping on OUR bandwagon.
Readers Digest version: On February 8, 2007, Anna was found
unresponsive in her room at the Seminole
Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, FL. From Findadeath
friend Britt in Cincinatti:
"I was down in Hollywood FL with friends
and stayed at the Seminole Hard Rock from 2/15 - 19. As luck would have
it, our rooms were on the infamous 6th floor (albeit way down at the other
end, in the 640's).
Even though Anna Nicole's room had surely
been gone over from top to bottom by then, the hotel kept an employee posted
at the door 24/7, I suppose to keep people from making shrines or graffiti
or worse... leaving teddy bears and flowers.
At any rate, I know how you like to post pics
of celebs' mailboxes and front doors... so here's a cell phone-camera snap of Anna's
last hotel room door!"
For which we are grateful. Thanks
She was taken to the Memorial
Regional Hospital where CPR was performed on her. This is where she died of pneumonia.
She was 39 years old.
She was taken to the medical examiner's office, where she was given an
autopsy. She was jacked up on methadone and painkillers, thus masking the
symptoms of the pneumonia, so it went untreated. Very Jim Henson.
But not. Updated 27 March, 07: I
was wrong. Official cause of death:
Thanks to all my friends that
sent in that information - to make findadeath more accurate.
Upon the announcement, Trimspa issued this statement.
I would love to have been in on that meeting, when they found Slimfast in Anna's
fridge. My thought is that Trimpsa may have jerked Anna around a bit,
and her lawyer Howard K. Stern put the Slimfast in the fridge as a final EFF you
While the entire world watched, there were fights about what
to do with Anna's remains. While Anna lie rotting at the Medical Examiner, her mother, a
trick she had once, and her smarmy lawyer - all fought over what to do with her
body. Mom wanted a Texas burial, Stern wanted the Bahamas and Trick
wanted LA. I personally wish she was coming here to LA, it seems like it's
what she would have wanted -- Burial at Westwood near Marilyn. It
still may happen, as I type this, the father of Daniel is filing a suit to have
the boy exhumed and buried back in Texas.
What. A. Mess.
judge. There is no good reason that man is
sitting on the bench, except to make this freak show, more freakier..
Where IS Judge Judy when you need her? She would so have whipped those
people into shape. We heart Judge Judy.
Anna remained at the Medical Examiner until this morning - when she was taken to the
loaded on a plane like
and flown to the Bahamas for burial.
The Bahama Mama's Funeral Mass
is being held this very minute at The
Mount Horeb Baptist Church, where 300 guests (including Slash) mourned
Pallbearers in black suits with pink ties carried the mahogany
casket, draped in a pink satin cloth with ribbons and feathers.
was spelled out in Texas-influenced rhinestones.
Anna is wearing a pink gown and a tiara, forever. The
designer refused to release details of the gown, because some things should
remain sacred, you know? But you can see it
The service was broadcast live by Entertainment
She is also buried with the ashes of her late husband, J.
Anna was then taken in a pimped out white
hearse, to the Lake View Cemetery, where she is being buried.
There is not one singular respectable human being involved with this case,
especially Howard K. Stern who the term "smarmy git" was invented for.
I do kind of like the Birkhead trick person. He seems sincere to me.
Anna is often compared to Marilyn Monroe. Wrong. Not
even close. Sure, Anna slept in the same bedroom
that Marilyn died in,
they were both Playboy models. The thing they really had in common was
being used, taken advantage of, shat on and spat out.
From Mark and James in Canada:
Anna's billionaire hubby J. Howard Marshall leased the
12305 5th Helena Drive house for Anna Nicole in 1994-1995. She actually
purportedly had an o.d. while living there and thought MM was reaching out for
her from the walls and mirrors (big National Enquirer story about it back in
the day). The pics were taken by a Marilyn fan who loitered outside of 5th
Helena...Anna invited him in, and on his website (where the photos originated)
he said that Anna was very nice and enjoyed showing the house off to other MM
fans. Anna had also toyed with the idea of asking J. Howard to buy Jayne
Mansfield's now demolished Pink Palace for her after she shot a Playboy spread
there, but Engelbert Humperdinck (who owned it at the time) wanted too much
moolah for the place.
As Anna once famously asked, "Do you like my body?" Well, if
you want to see Anna's body, you can, if you click (Warning! Dead pic) here.
If you don't, I would advise you not to, and don't come screaming to me with
your pants around your ankles, if you do. So many nice people have sent
those pictures to me, and I do so appreciate it, but the first was my buddy Nate
at RockyRadio. Thanks, Nate.
To those who doubt the authenticity of the death photographs,
my buddy Steve Goldstein of BeneathLosAngeles.com sent me this from today's NY
March 3, 2007 -- DESPITE the National Enquirer's claim that the eerie
post-mortem images of Anna Nicole Smith it published were "photo
re-creations based on eyewitness accounts," a source close to the
magazine says they were the actual photos of the Playboy playmate's corpse
lying in a Florida mortuary. "We didn't want to get anyone fired,"
an Enquirer operative told The Post's Braden Keil. Someone with access
to the refrigerated drawers scored a big payday after pulling out Smith's
pre-embalmed body and unzipping the body bag for an Enquirer photographer to
hurriedly snap her bluish face.
Of course, several unqualified people are spouting off about
her, such as Donald
Trump. This time I happen to agree with him, when he says he doesn't like
Howard K. Stern, and Stern is probably not the babydaddy.
John Travolta took a dick out of his mouth long enough to issue this
statement that Scientology
could have saved her life. This from a man who's religion claims they can cure
homosexuality. Or can they?
I will very much miss the overweight ridiculous Anna Nicole Smith. She
was a guilty pleasure, and I hope she finds some sort of peace. ALSO, I
hope if ghosts do exist, she finds a way to scare the shit out of that Stern guy,
every single night for the rest
of his life.
According to my buddy Mark Langlois, the house
on the Anna Nicole Smith show was being leased for $7000 a month (with 39
household members). Mark got me the address, and I found it way in the
hills. I know those hills pretty well, I could never ever find it again
without my trusty bitch in the box - my GPS system. It gets better though,
Mark's friend James in Canada writes, "On
4/11/2005, the house of Anna Nicole Smith, located in Studio City, CA was
purchased by Vickie Lynn Marshall (aka Anna Nicole Smith) for $1,335,000.00. On
4/11/2005 the Grant Deed was in Vickie Lynn Marshall's name."
"One day later, on
4/12/2005, the GRANTEE (or the Grant Deed / title) of the house was changed to:
Hot Smoochie Lips Inc."
It gets better, "Anna
Nicole Smith's longtime companion, attorney Howard K. Stern, oversees a
corporation that was allegedly set-up to manage Anna Nicole Assets. Anna Nicole
is/was the President of "Hot Smoochie Lips Inc." and Howard K. Stern
was also an officer. Since Stern is the only surviving officer of the company,
he doesn't have to wait to control any of the assets."
Anyway, thanks to Mark
and James, we now can see Anna's house,
and... Ta Da! her mailbox.
Thank you, gentlemen.
From Findadeath friend Sheila Sisk: I went to big ol' Mexia and Jim's Crispy Fried Chicken
(where Anna had her first job) and it's still kickin'! It was VERY crowded and has an old school pick up menu and a dine-in area, but no public restroom, go figure.
It actually smelled pretty good, but I didn't get a sample for various reasons.
Not a classy joint - you can tell it hasn't changed in a VERY long time. I can just picture ANS fry'n up some chicken legs and getting freaky with Daniels Daddy behind the building on a smoke break.
Thanks Sheila for the snappy snap, and for making us proud!
Update February 2015: Last October
we visited Jim's Crispy Fried Chicken. The ladies working there were terrific
friendly, but neither of them worked there when the legend did. When I asked
what people have to say about Anna Nicole, the response was, "not
much." I'm guessing not a lot of community pride. Fuck them. Anna was a
Thank you, Lisa Burks. Thank you Joey Pomales for the
plane/cemetery info. Thank you, Nate and
Harry. Thank you, Michael for the Marilyn home pictures. Thank you,
Jay Porterfield for furnishing her death certificate.
Rest in Peace, Anna. It was a good show.