February 20, 1967 – April 5, 1994
“I’m not a death rocker, and I don’t wear black.”
First and foremost, a big round of applause goes out to Findadeath.com friend, Cole Howard, for obtaining these great photographs of the home, in Seattle, WA. Thank you SO much, Cole.
Now, on to the good stuff.
Kurt Cobain and his junkie wife Courtney Love, moved into this house,
located on Lake Washington Blvd. E.,
in Seattle, Washington. The house they bought was number 171.
Here’s a view up the driveway,
taken in mid 1999. Here’s the front entrance.
Just after they moved in, Love and Cobain had an argument, and Kurt locked himself in a room. Love feared that Kurt was going to do it (kill himself) then, and called the police. They came, and confiscated three handguns, a semiautomatic rifle, and 25 boxes of ammunition. Isn’t America grand?
My pal Gary Sweeney sends this: I heard that Kurt once said something about joining “The 27 Club”, which is a group of famous musicians who all died at age 27 (Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison, etc…), and that he purposely committed suicide at age 27 to do so. Link to The 27 Club wiki page.
On Friday the 8th of April 1994, at 8:40am, an electrician named Gary Smith had come to install a burglar alarm. He was told that the occupants were out of town. Upon looking in the window of the greenhouse above the garage,
(where Kurt’s grey Volvo was still parked). He discovered Kurt, who had at that point, joined the ranks of the stinky club. Yuck. My guess is that he didn’t smell of teen spirit then. Coroners estimated he’d been dead for 3 days. He was wearing jeans and a light colored T-shirt. Here’s a picture of Kurt’s foot,
just inside the window. There are plenty of other photos of Kurt, close up, but it’s pretty nasty. His face was so destroyed that they had to use fingerprints to identify him.
Findadeath.com friend Becki sent in this pic, which is the one making the rounds. I’m sure I’ll get tons of emails telling me it’s fake, or not Kurt, or I’m a jerk for posting it. So, if you get easily grossed out, or offended, by all means do not click here. Make your own mind up regarding it’s authenticity, but I don’t believe it to be real.
This is settled. It is not real. Please do not mail me telling me exactly why it isn’t real, it isn’t real. We know this. It’s done. I’m leaving the picture up, so you can see it for yourself.
HOWEVER*** April 08
Sunny from Tulsa sent this picture that she believes may be Kurt. I agree, it just might be. It shows his face in tact. It also is undeniably the same tiles on the floor. Could be a phony, I dunno. Just for yourself. It’s not gross.
Gary Smith said at the time, “I saw this body lying there on the floor. At first I thought it was a mannequin. Then I noticed it had blood in the right ear. Then I saw the shotgun lying across his chest pointing up at his chin.”
On the floor next to his body, was his drivers license, and on a shelf about 10 feet away, skewered into a potted plant by a pen, was his one page suicide note, written in red ink. Some of the note read, “It’s better to burn out than fade away…I haven’t felt the excitement…for too many years now,” “I feel guilty beyond words about these things… when we are backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins, it doesn’t affect me.” “The fact is…I can’t fool you, any of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or to me… the worst crime I can think of would be to pull people off by faking it and pretending as if I were having 100% fun.” He signed it, “I love you. I love you.”
January 2000 – Findadeath.com friends Kevin and Jo supplied us with a real copy of the suicide note.
Also, another great friend of ours, Patricia McDonough supplied me with a literal translation.
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, the ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example when we’re backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins, it doesn’t affect me the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury, who seem to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd, which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can’t fool you, any one of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage.
I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God believe me I do, but it’s not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone. I’m too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last 3 tours, I’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people I’ve known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know! I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point where I can barely function. I can’t stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I’ve become. I have it good, very good, and I’m grateful, but since the age of seven, I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I’m too much of an erratic, moody, baby! I don’t have the passion anymore, and so remember, it’s better to burn out then to fade away. Peace, Love, Empathy. Kurt Cobain.
Frances and Courtney, I’ll be at your altar
Please keep going Courtney,
for her life will be so much happier
without me. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU
Thanks so much, you guys.
February 2002, Findadeath.com friend Clint Ford sends us this info about THE NOTE:
“Wondering if you’ve heard about the still-pending investigation regarding Kurt Cobain’s death? It seems that they’re investigating the legitimacy of the suicide note. If you look at the note he left, he mentions no really direct hints of suicide in the entire letter until the bottom– which is written COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from the way the majority of the letter was penned. Not to mention the fact that the different-looking part of the letter is written AFTER Kurt had already signed it. Handwriting experts are still studying it to determine if it could’ve been written by the same hand.
There is some speculation from experts that are suggesting that it is entirely possible that Kurt wrote the letter for a farewell speech to his fans, because he was planning on leaving Nirvana and retiring from the business. Further, that someone found the letter somehow (whether it had been discarded because Kurt changed his mind, or if it was just found) — and decided it looked enough like a suicide note, so they just added the text at the end, to make no doubt in people’s minds. Then, they were free to polish off Kurt, with no strings attached.”
Interesting. Thanks Clint!
Kurt was 27 years old.
Wanna see the gun? Findadeath.com friend Jason sends us this.
His body was taken to the Bleitz Funeral Home, at 316 Florentia St, in Seattle. The day after they found him, Courtney Love clipped a lock of Kurt’s hair, and washed it (bet that’s the first time that’s happened in a long time). She even started wearing his clothes, in an effort to grieve. The funeral home cremated him.
From Findadeath.com friend Mike:
I have a contact at the funeral home where Kurt was taken. He snuck my wife in to view his body.
First off, the weapon used was a 20 gauge, not a 12 gauge shotgun. This is important, because a 20 is considerably less powerful than a 12. Second, he was NOT all fucked up. There was some distortion to the top of his head, but by and large his head, and especially his face, were in good shape.
My wife paid her respects, clipped a lock of hair, and that was that. She also brought home an empty Marlboro box that Courtney discarded during her viewing. You might also be interested to know that while she (Courtney) was with the body, she shoved his hand up her skirt…
I would expect nothing less of her. Thanks Mike.
On Sunday the 10th, at 5pm, there was an outdoor memorial service held in the Seattle Center’s Flag Pavilion.
5000 fans listened to a tape recording of Courtney Love reading the suicide note, and calling Kurt and asshole, and a fucker. But that she loved him. During that vigil, there was a real memorial service held a few blocks away, at the Unity Church of Truth. Love, Kurt’s sister Kim, and other family members attended it. Dressed in black, Love read from the Bible, and a portion of the suicide note. Michael Stipe of REM also spoke.
After the public memorial, some insane 28-year-old fan went home and blew his own brains out.
In July of 1995, an article appeared in the LA Times, that Courtney was having a problem finding a resting-place for Kurt’s ashes. No cemetery nearby would take him in, for fear of vandalism, ala Morrison. Rumor has it that Love put the ashes in her teddy bear, and my pal Jim at Findagrave.com states that Kurt’s ashes were finally scattered in the Wishkah River, Washington.
In 1996, Courtney made an announcement that she was tearing down the garage/greenhouse where Kurt killed himself. “I’m knocking down the greenhouse where Kurt died because it’s become bigger than the Space Needle.” She obviously meant it. Here’s the bulldozer, doing the job.
Just for the heck of it, here’s another view of the house.
In August of 1994, the following article ran in the LA Times:
“Controversial singer Courtney Love ended her set midway through after a fan threw a shotgun shell casing onto the stage during her Lollapalooza show in Pittsburgh. Love’s husband, rocker Kurt Cobain, used a shotgun to kill himself last year. “One singular individual with a very sick mind threw something so offensive onto the stage, that it was no longer possible for the band to continue,” an announcer told about 15,000 people Monday after Love left with her band, Hole. Lovely.
UPDATE March 2005, from Findadeath friend Kelly:
Greetings, lovely site! I am a very experienced
amateur ballistician, and wanted to comment on the KC
First off, if Kurt had used a 20 instead of a
12,as Mike wrote, the damage would still have been
considerable. The higher power 3″ “Magnum” 20ga
shells actually are more powerful then 2.75″
“standard” 12 gauge shells. Even if it was a 2.75″ 20ga
used, it’s still more then enough to remove the head
from the body.
Divers often use “bang sticks” to defend against sharks that use 12 or 20 gauge shells with no shot charge, the force of the escaping gasses caused by the powder burning is devastating without a shot charge.
Keep up the good work!
Scott, I used to be in a band, and we played all over, including up in the NW. We had a following and all, and Kurt really liked us. But before that, we knew Courtney because she lived in SF. When we were on tour, we stopped and stayed overnight at her
place in Portland. This was long before Kurt.
I didn’t know Courtney as well as the others in the band. She was really frightening to me, but only in her energy, not in anything she actually did to me. She was well known for borrowing your clothes and never returning them, or staying overnight at your place, and running up the long distance phone bill and stuff. She was out of control. From all reports and gossip I hear, she is still out of control.
OK here’s the item for your site: (Please keep this anonymous. Thank you.)
After Kurt returned home early from botched rehab, he and Courtney were fighting a lot. Like, serious toxic crazy fighting. Instead of consulting a marriage counselor, or finishing rehab and getting off drugs, Courtney sent for her ex-boyfriend, now-gay Roddy
Bottum from Faith No More.
Her intent was for Roddy to mediate or help them in whatever way her old friend could. What he found was vicious fighting, Kurt crying, a real bad scene. He left after a short time. I don’t know how long he was there. Soon after, Kurt killed himself. (I can’t remember how soon after Roddy left.)
While Courtney certainly did not kill Kurt, the description of their last days led me and my friends to conclude that she pushed a very vulnerable man to a very angry and self-destructive act.
Extra tidbit for you, but not for the site: Kurt loved Frightwig, and this pissed off Courtney, who could not stand for anyone else, especially a girl band, to get any attention from Kurt.
On his MTV Unplugged concert, you can see he’s wearing a Frightwig T-shirt. If you want to make Courtney mad, wear one of these T-shirts. She’s SO jealous, and really, she never had any reason to be.
She’s actually an alright song-writer herself, and always thought she was very talented. But ew, her radioactive personality!
Thanks for the info!